IHOP-in' With The Hayes'

Deliverance and Redemption

2012-02-10T11:32:00.000-08:00

Psalm 107

Give thanks to the Lord for his goodness. His mercy Endures Forever. The redeemed tell of it.

He redeemed those out of the north,south,east and west. Hungry and thirsty, they found no where to stay. Thier soul fainted within them.

They cried thier troubles out to the Lord, and He delivered them out of thier distresses. He led them in the right direction for dwelling . Oh, that men would thank the Lord for his goodness,for His wonderful works.
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God will never leave us to rot in the wilderness. He will redeem us and set us in the right direction. We need to ask him in our pit to remove and burn off Pride and Offense within us, so we can be at a place thats longing and thirsting for nothing else but God to fill every longing and hurting void.

What i mean by this is that when we are ripped out of our comfort zone, Life isnt what we expected, desired, longed and hoped for. The plans change against our will, Our flesh rages . Pride and offense devour us.

But Oh Beloved,
When we embrace brokenness, we allow the the Lord to bear our burdens.
Matthew 11:30

For My yoke is easy and My burden is light

Its the place where we hand our heart,soul,mind and stregnth over to the Lord, the place of surrender.
Its the most beautiful place to the Lord.

We come to a place that allows God to have full availability and access to our hearts. When we embrace brokenness we have hearts that are willing to recieve.

Psalm 107:29
He calms the Storm, so that its waves are still.

God would you burn every bridge,every puffed up wall or offense that rises up against you within us, Because life didnt go the way we expected or dreamed. Bring us to brokenness, to sureender. Where you have complete control. Where you can allow your love,comfort and peace to radiate within us, changing us from the inside ,out.

Ecc.3:11
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.

I love this verse because he will restore our lives and make it beautiful again but he has put Eternity in our hearts...so that we know the beauty of a eternal perpective.

OH, the wells and fountains we can draw from in him.
This life is a vapor, but set your heart and mind on things above...

Jail-Time

2012-02-03T05:36:00.000-08:00

scared ya didnt i?
Not us in jail but a great story...

A few weeks ago we had a theft in the parking lot at the house of prayer....we were told to keep our cars locked that we had a theft in one of the staff members vehicles....so while we were in our meeting we all went into intercession for whoever this person was...praying God would touch his heart and he would come to know the Love of God....

Our very next meeting we had a testimony from Caleb, one of our worship leaders that goes to the jail and witnesses Gods Love and Gospel to the inmates...

This past week at the jail, 3 ppl gave there life to the Lord through salvation, and one of the guys who recieved Christ took to caleb and they spent some time talking....(yes this was the guy that broke in the vehicle at IHOP)
not knowing who caleb was at all, he asked him where he was from?

Caleb said International House Of Prayer, It humbled and broke the guy, and he asked for forgiveness...

I Believe my whole heart in intercession and prayer! The times where we dont know what to do, we can pray. Gods hears our hearts!!!

He Delights in You

2012-01-20T21:54:00.000-08:00

This new year has been a very difficult one for me. I thought the holidays the grief-monster would try to swallow me under but never expected it to come after new years...But its here,life feels harder than ever but Im allowing these waves to shape me and change me, and Im allowing God to shake this mess and turn it into something beautiful.....He wants us to be real with him.....not to put up a fake smile but for us to give him our ashes so he can turn it into beauty....I love the line of the song we sing in the prayer room
"even on my best day, its all rags anyway, im giving you my ashes come make me beauty"

He desires a realness from us, not to pretend were all good....cuz me and you both know we got some issues...But Dear Friend He specializes in beautiful restoration!

We show up to church with the everythings fine grin or put on facebook the biggest smile,but if we were really to put whats going on we'd put the picture of us laying prostate on our beds, vibrating because were weeping so hard...God wants to turn our ashes into his beauty but we have to admit we have ashes...

Yes we have issues but its no news to God. We isolate ourselves when were hit with pain,back away from the ones we love and we start believeing the lies the enemy is whispering in our ear...Loser,defeated one,Unfit, Gods Forgotten one...Satan is loving it...b/c Were not helping others who are in that same pit by expressing it, and were in a stand still in our own pit...

We need to re-mark our hearts with how the Lord feels about us. He loves us so much. and we need to speak Gods word over us as a refreshing shower when we feel those lies creeping up.

I love psalm 139 especially verses 17-19

17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!

How great is the sum of them!

18 If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;

When I awake, I am still with You.

I love knowing God delights in me ,thinks about me
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"Because he delights in me, he saved me." (Ps. 18:19)
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"As a man rejoices over his new wife, so your God will rejoice over you." (Isaiah. 62:5)

I truly believe God delights in RELATIONSHIP...
He gaves us relationship with him and with others so we can lift each other up and bear one anothers burdens..
(Ecc.4:10)
For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.

But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.

We all have times in our life when the road hit hard and we got that phone call, letter in the mail that lifted our spirit and gave us a new outlook....He wants us to share our hurt and bear one anothers burdens so we can continue to live in his fullness...

Pain hurts, its discouraging,depressing,and can often shake our entire world...But I love knowing that God draws us close to him and embraces us through it all, he will never leave us for a second. He is always with us... I love Bob Sorge's paragraph in his book "Secrets of the Secret Place"

"When the lights of understanding go out and your plunged into emotional darkness, you are actually being issued an invitation into Gods secret place.

The sanctuary of his embrace is where God reveals purpose, which in turn empowers us to endure hardship with Joy. For we know He is working it all together for good.

The longer the distress, the more valuable the pearl!"

We wouldnt see how much we need him if we had it all.....But if your stripped of everything you once had..and you need him for your next breath, your next meal.....Let him take the reins, rest in him,believe him at his word and you will be overwhelmed with the way he loves you, delights in you, and wants to be with you...

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If he had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning. Whenever you want to talk, he'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and he chose your heart. And the Christmas gift he sent you in Bethlehem? Face it, friend. He's crazy about you.
(Max Lucado)

May You Have a blessed 2012...

2012-01-03T21:18:00.000-08:00

Some pics from the conference and more to come!
May this year God encounter you deeper than he ever has before!!!

Im not big on new years resoltions but i am big on visions short and long term...
And as i was reading proverbs 2 the other day I have found my vision specifically for this upcoming year...

Proverbs 2:1-6
1 My son, if you receive my words,

And treasure my commands within you,

2 So that you incline your ear to wisdom,

And apply your heart to understanding;

3 Yes, if you cry out for discernment,

And lift up your voice for understanding,

4 If you seek her as silver,

And search for her as for hidden treasures;

5 Then you will understand the fear of the LORD,

And find the knowledge of God.

6 For the LORD gives wisdom;

From His mouth come knowledge and understanding;

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I want to grow in my knowledge of God and devote myself to be fully his in every area of my life...
Its going to be an exciting year because those who wait upon the Lord will NEVER be put to shame!!!

Have a Blessed 2012!!!

Nefarious: Merchant of Souls

2012-01-01T10:28:00.000-08:00

Human Trafficking has really grabbed at my heart since ive heard Ihop is starting up a ministry to rip girls out of that ministry into safe homes....that provide them with detoxing/counseling/love....but I really didnt know much about whats going on in the world of sex slavery.

At one thing they showed a documentary called Nefarious where the founder of the human trafficking ministry at Ihop-KC went to 19 different countries to gather content for the movie from dingy kareoke bars, to massage parlors to where they publicly sell girls in windows like retail shops...in north asia,europe,north and central america to the middle east...

My Heart broke watching the whole documentary...painful to watch but nessecary...I want Gods heart and i must awaken myself to the pain thats really going on if Im going to pursue whats on his heart...

I posted the Trailer here and pray God would let me take a season of my life and let me serve somehow in the ministry in Atlanta...

Keep me in prayer as i pursue this desire I feel the Lord has given me to grab hold of his heart and to be a part of something that can change women and childrens lives...

Sex Slavery Facts
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- Every 30 seconds a child is Trafficked

-When you sell drugs you can only sell it once, you can sell a child over and over again

-27 million ppl are enslaved around the world

-Human Trafficking is the fastest-growing criminal industry in the world

-Nearly 2 million children are involved in the international commercial sex trade

-In Cambodia they call you blessed and say you have it made if you give birth to a baby girl, because 90% are sold into sex slavery so the families can have more money and give themselves a better life.
The Children have no say/no choice

-161 countries out of 192 are involved in this trade.

-80% of all trafficking victims are women and children who are forced into the sex trade. The average age is 13-14

-Human Trafficking is a 32 billion dollar per year industry,bringing in more than the NFL,NBA,NHL,MLB combined.
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Each and every girls story is valuable and real lives are ruined and often tajen by the lust and greed of evil men.

What amazed me was alot of women are captured and kidnapped from houses,jobs,walking on the street and forced into prostitution.

All we see is the gaudy clothes,the Girls that just want money so selling themselves thnking its there fault, but there snatched and forced into this and there every move is monitored by the pimp(evil, luistful men) and they are beaten and often killed if they dont obey. They beat down their worth so they dont feel they can live otherwise and have no means for a choice or to escape....

Pray God would raise up more deliverers to work in these ministries, God would restore the victims, and God would set these captives free....

Every time you see a red light,pray for Justice and the raising up of deliverers!!!

Out in Kansas City at One Thing Conference...

2011-12-30T15:59:00.000-08:00

I recently arrived in KC, rooming with 2 ladies and good friends from my internship and God is really meeting me...When i first arrived my friend asked if i could go to the healing room with her,she had a physical infirmity and wanted me to stand with her, I was glad to.

It blew my mind that one year ago i had a good friend stand with me in the healing room while i recieved healing prayer after suffering from losing Andy, and i realized how far God has brought me....And what a heck of a year its been with all its waves and roller coaster rides but through it all how he has sustained me, and refined me in the fire...

The teachings have been taking me into depper levels of Intimacy with Jesus and coming together in worship with 25,000 other ppl have been overwhelming....all together running for the same reason....To Love God with all our hearts and give him the praise and adoration he is so rightly due...

We Love You Jesus!

"One Thing"

comes from what David wrote in Psalm 27:4

One thing I have desired of the LORD,

That will I seek:

That I may dwell in the house of the LORD

All the days of my life,

To behold the beauty of the LORD,

And to inquire in His temple.
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Happy Holidays!!!

2011-12-22T20:49:00.000-08:00

Hoping Everyone has a Blessed Holiday Season!!!

Love,
The HAYES FAM :)

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-26T05:17:00.000-08:00

Psalm 69:30

I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.

Our friends Amy and Kevins family

Mr kevin giving a life lesson...lol

My friend Katie <3

Celebrated Thankgiving with a group of Ihop Family...I have so much to be Thankful for,So much to praise him for!!!

Hope your Thanksgiving is filled with Blessings....

Travis' Pre-k Thanksgiving Feast

2011-11-19T19:17:00.000-08:00

Travi and his buddies

Thanksgiving feast time!

it was so cute seeing him interact with his classmates...of course he was the one making everyone laugh

Travi's best friend and my adopted son Karl...(not really) but i would in a heartbeat ;)

Proud mama and her lil boy more excited about cake than the pic....i cant blame him...lol

Well i had fun seeing Travis interact in his school enviroment....Happy Thanksgiving...
Give Thanks to the Lord for he is good, his Love Endures Forever!!!
(1 Chron 16:34)

Graduation Week

2011-11-19T18:31:00.000-08:00

Yes my Leader...lol

Thanksgiving feast for section meeting

Joshua Crew at Bonefish grill

Me and Amanda...One of my closest friends

My Certificate...yippee!

Some shots from the last week of my internship...sad to see it end, but excited for whats next...:)

Sneak Peak of our shoot

2011-11-16T17:07:00.000-08:00

Nakia posted a few pics of our shoot...i love how they came out!!!

Bye Bye Joshua

2011-11-15T19:39:00.000-08:00

This is the last week of our internship...It has been an amazing and transforming 3 months...I will miss being with these beautiful ladies inside and out every day...venting,laughing,worshipping God, crying...etc

Thank you Lord for allowing me to be held accountable and be a part of these womens lives and watch them grow tremendously....Gods God something rich in store for us all.

Thank You Jerry and Marie for pouring out into our lives everyday...for my daily counseling sessions whether u wanted to listen or not....lol
We Love You...Muah!!!

Decals

2011-11-13T16:33:00.001-08:00

the decals that i ordered for my car...LOL

Emotions

2011-11-13T16:30:00.000-08:00

What a emotion-filled week its been.
up and down feeling all different kinds of crazy emotions.....Im so thankful God is unchanging...When my stablness runs out and am no longer able to stand, The Lord stands for me...He upholds me by his right hand...

Most of the week i have felt like a little girl in her daddys lap....not able to handle much but just soaking in the comfort that he gives...His Love never fails me....so im resting in that...

I Love how his hair matches the leaves...haha

I did however have the energy to take a few shots of my adorable boy today...enjoy!

Momma Horsin Around

2011-11-10T19:07:00.000-08:00

Ive always had a tractor obsession but theres something about antique tractors that i LOVE!!!

and again!!!

Fancy hangin loose

Trying to decide which horse i should ride? LOL

My Sweetie Tanner

Me and Tanner after we were galloping a bit....

He got in trouble by miss jan, he was only sopposed to canter...LOL
Poor Baby

Its been such a blessing this week to have my dad and sis to be here to support me and the kids. Today they treated me and let me ride while they watched the kids....so i hopped in the car and headed for monroe....Jan took me to a great horse park with some beautiful horse trails...I got to hang out with Tanner and Fancy for a while...

Support

2011-11-08T20:12:00.000-08:00

Supported by some of my favorite ppl tonight at starbucks...I Love My Girls!!!

Kid-Nappin

2011-11-07T12:38:00.001-08:00

Aunt Lindsays attempt to take Travi back to Jersey...but little does she know her liscense plate says Ya'll...LOL

Nice Try Auntie

Sneak Peak at The Hayes Family Shoot

2011-11-06T18:36:00.000-08:00

My Sis snuck some pics when the photog wasn't looking on her cell...hehe
Good thing if i get in trouble the photog is one of my dear friends...LOL

LOve you Kiaster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy!!!

CowBoy Up...

2011-11-05T22:06:00.000-07:00

Travi is excited for our photoshoot tomm...were doing fall pics at the stable and hes going to get to pose with his pony Rocky...

Lots Of Pics will come soon!

Enjoy this for now..Mommy's lil Cowboy!

Boastin...

2011-10-31T21:18:00.000-07:00

On My lil Boy that is...

What happened this weekend moved me...

I knew on sunday was the childrens dedication and even though travis was running a temp i knew i still wanted to come...during worship he was singing holy,holy,holy is the Lord God Almighty so loud and over and over the guy behind me was having his own personal revival because of my sons singing, that blessed me...sunday night he was a mess, whooping cough, fever and was vomiting for a good 30 mins...as i was rubbing his back he looked at me before he vomited again and he could barely talk but he said "Pray" and so we did...It wasnt until tonight that it all just caught up with me...he was taking a bath and we were saying we need to scrub off these germs...and hes singing scrub this sickness in jesus name, scrub this sickness in jesus name...amen!

He was really excited to make cards for Mr Chan and support him as he leaves for africa this week...so we did, we made a night of it and it was great!

My Future Forerunner!!!

Praying For Mr. Chan!

2011-10-31T21:06:00.000-07:00

The kids were really excited to make Mr. Chan cards tonight.....Chan is a good friend from Ihop that is headed to Kenya on a missions trip to preach the gospel......Last thurs he taught on radical islam and the way its becoming more and more an obsession around this world...we watched a video called obsession/radical islam...its on youtube.....every beliver needs to see it and be pressed toward prayer.....they teach thier kids to kill, to hate, to die for sake of allah and jihad...even at 10 yrs old they have suicide bomber training......heart -wrenching....there goal is to kill every jew and christian...

But I promised that me and the kids would staurate him in prayer knowing hes headed to kenya ( an area where the radicals are)

He leaves Thursday...his family will be remaining in atlanta as he goes forth in boldness....Lord Cover mr. Chan In your Glory and your Love....

The Kids are really excited to give him the cards tomorrow at 4pm intercession

Please keep our dear friends The Pridgen's in prayer!!!

UPDATE:

Mr. Chan loved the cards, got teary eyed and is bringing the cards to africa with him...he said he would sit the kids down personally and give him testimonies when he returns!

Dedicated to The Lord

2011-10-31T12:49:00.000-07:00

We were so blessed to be a part of Pastor Billy's dedication service.....To be saturated in prayer by all the Godly influences that have poured into our lives since weve moved here.....

The Kids got bibles and were excited!!!

Our internship leaders jerry and marie....that have poured into me and the kids life every day for the past 3 months, brought us food when money got tight, and have been a phone call away, and a visit away when i was overwhelmed with tears...true angels in our life!

us and papa jerry

The Pridgen brothers who have been such Godly influences....Kids are praying for chan(on left) as he heads to kenya for 2 weeks to spread the gospel this week!

Travi's 1st Pony-Back Riding Lesson...

2011-10-28T13:05:00.000-07:00

i took so many pics... so proud of my big boy.....it was therapeutic for all of us...we had a great time with miss joelle and travi helped brush,clean rocky as well as ride him....he learned how to make him go backwards(his fav) forward,stop,how to lean as he goes down hill with him.....he told me rocky was his friend......I cant wait to go back!!! I took so many pics i will put a few i edited and then put a link for my webshots acct and just add them all on there....

:)

all photos
http://home-and-garden.webshots.com/album/581698959PNFpap?vhost=home-and-garden

Big Girl Jenna...

2011-10-24T10:21:00.000-07:00

Get outta my face with that camera this early before you get a cat or a cup in yo face...

southern stuff ...

2011-10-18T06:53:00.000-07:00

u know u live in the south when you bring the kids to school and there teachers say alright ya'll come sit down were havin gritz for breakfast....LOL

Happy Sukkot!

2011-10-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

We are feasting for the next 7 days and are celebrating the feast of tabernacles ....we have lots to pics to come of our tabernacle,crafts,etc...

This is the (Season Of Our Joy)

Be Blessed!!!

Snack and Pose...

2011-10-07T14:00:00.000-07:00

Attitude!!!

Practicing snapping

side to side, side to side

what she looks like saying cheese

Posin

lots of tude!

Travis million dollar smile

Fall Festival

2011-10-01T19:31:00.000-07:00

We had a really great time at the L-ville fall festival!

I couldnt help but get a lot of pics of trav on the horse, he was so happy and was really sad when it was time to get off. Jenna enjoyed eating...lol

We had Hotdogs and deep-fried oreos...Amazzzing!!!

I just really enjoyed getting out with my babies today...enjoying the nip in the air, no agenda just being spontaneous and enjoying the day!

After the festival, we headed to the play area in my apt complex to play a bit before nap. As i was pushing jenna on the swing , i over heard these 2 boys talking about letters...they couldnt be older than 6 or 7....And the one lil boy said what does B stand for? and the other boy answered...Honey, duh!

And he said no "B" is for Beer!!!

I know i was standing there with my mouth open...i felt it....Imediately it broke my heart for the reality of the next generation and the struggles i felt i had at a young age is nothing compared to what our babies are going to have to face.

It reminded me that i need to pray for my babies more...and that the truths i desire to instill in them will keep them steady and following after the Lord all the days of thier life!!!

All in All Fun,Happy day with my kiddos!

Andys Heart

2011-09-30T14:15:00.000-07:00

I have started a blog of Andy's heart...His writings,passion and intimacy with Jesus...My prayer is that reading these posts will encourage you, bless you and draw you closer to the Father's love for us!!!

http://www.andys-heart.blogspot.com/

I'm Melting, I'm Melting...........

2011-09-23T07:22:00.000-07:00

Alot of people have been wondering how the internship is going, how im doing...I have been very anti-social this past month and its for a reason. ..Alot of people(who mean very well) have thier opinions,advice for me...etc and i need to close myself away for these next few months because right now Gods opinion is the only one that is important to me right now, and i dont want anything distracting me from hearing clearly from him....

So i enjoy being able to blog out my feelings and saturate in your prayers! Thank You for Understanding...

There is only one way as i explained to mom how this internship is affecting my life...coming into this lets say i had my share of issues...to put it lightly...I had the love of my life ripped away from me and my babies and I was hurt,mad,angry,fearful...I felt like half of me died...Which all of these things people will say are valid and understandable...When you meet the one God has for you and unites a man and woman, the two shall become one...so literally half of me was kapuuut, Gone!!!

My heart was shredded into a million pieces,my soul ached. And no one could fix this(as much as momma Jacobs wanted too..Love u mom) But time and God!

As i entered the internship with such turmoil in my heart,anxiety...etc I knew not only God had a lot of work to do ...but so did I... you get what you put into it...so it took alot of asking God to break down major walls and surrendering my insecurities to him...God doesnt just give u a silver platter of a heart thats free...here you go kelly,heres your prize!(((Darnitt))

If he did that we would only need him when things go wrong and tell him to hit the road when things go right, I can take it from here Lord...Peace-dude!

He desires that relationship with us to be our Lord and Savior not just our Savior all he time...AHHH ok now i get it God...

So really there is only one way to put the transition hes doing right now....Hes melting the wicked witch inside of me...the anger,the hurt, the anxiety,the fear...Hes bringing it all to the surface right now...although not fun to face but its vital to face it so God can truly heal me, restore me, make me a better, loving,nurturing momma....

My goal is that this wicked witch will cease to exist...Melt her Lord, Attitude and ALL!!!
I want a heart that is Free,and you desire that out of me as well...So lets get to work,God!!!

Gross...But...Cute...

2011-09-19T19:21:00.000-07:00

so I catch Jenna analyzing this spot on the ground, and i watch her look around to see if anyone is watching, realizing its a fruit snack that travis had yesterday and is mushed into the carpet, i see her hit the carpet mouth first trying to eat it off of the carpet when she realizes its not going to budge, she looks at me with that smile and all i can do is laugh.......really kid? we have food, i can feed you!!!

with you, without you - brad paisley

2011-09-16T17:38:00.000-07:00

Andrew Ray I Still Love You With All My Heart!!!

Happy Birthday Daddy!

2011-09-16T08:04:00.000-07:00

Best Buds

We Love you and miss you!!!

More pics to come...

Not All Widows are Senior Citizens...

2011-09-07T19:47:00.000-07:00

Its been one of those weeks for me..Im doing fine,Kids hearts are pumping...check, Inhaled a days worth of chocolate to cover nerves...check,socks are on both feet(maybe matching,maybe not)...check

When all of a sudden out of left field grief bombarded me most say like a wave...well this one was a flood...It affected me physically,spiritually, and emotionally..I felt paralyzed...

In a moment i realized i just got through my (would be) 6 yr anniversary, Andys bday is next week and the day He passed on is right around the corner....In the past week Ive had people graciously love on me, tell me im unhealthy by giving anger a place and i need to move past this,and some who just wanted to listen even if it was me sitting there with tears flying...

So many people will tell you things like..."its a season", :god will heal and restore you", "this too shall pass"...Which is great to know....but what about when your knee deep in grief and are a ways away from the other side....I think a lot of people forget those heart-wrenching moments and how they pushed through and just offer how good it will be someday....Well someday isnt here...Im trucking through the muck and if you want to offer advice...Give me tips on how to persevere in weakness, and run and fight while im in the muck...

In our internship we are doing a study on secrets of the secret place and this pastor has lost his voice for the past 20 years and he walks you through those dark places because his season has been for 20 years people!!! People who are hurting dont want to hear how good it will be someday, We want to know how do you manage when you have no desire to get out of bed a year later...Give me your journey, be real with me!

" Not All Widows Are Senior Citizens"

When you think of widows, im sure your mind tends to go to the old widow who is retired, who has lost her elderly husband ...but there are so many (like MWA) who are stay at home moms, raising kids, husband brings home the bacon, does the bills and cares for the finances,and out of nowhere...BAMMM Tragedy!

We are left with the reponsibility of raising kids and entering into single momma-hood,and having to take on a bunch of responsibilities were not used to, watching homes fall apart, cars reposesed,trying to be patient with your children when all you wanna do is shake your fist at the sky and cry WhyGod,Why Me?

And on top of having to own up to your old responsibilites, your newfound ones,be mom and dad and everything in between, your left with grieving your love, your loss, your life!

Yes God makes all things beautiful, and in his time we will heal and mend...But so many like myself need prayer and support and love....not to be on your time scale, to be told where we should be at or how long we should be in a grieveing stage....We need to start learning to Love like God loves us....Gently but firm!

I came across this online community for young widows, and its ppl just like myself who are posting things from not wanting to live another day to ideas n how to mark the 1st year anniversary...and let me tell you 90% are moms with kids that are in there 30's and 40's....

There are so many who have no hope...They dont have Christ as thier foundation so when there house is destroyed they no longer want to live, they either want to die or be numbed by alcohol and pills....

Please continue to pray for the Widows!

A story of a young widow in the bible "Anna"

"There was also a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the

tribe of Asher. She was very old; she had lived with her husband seven

years after her marriage, and then was a widow until she was

eighty-four. She never left the temple but worshiped night and day,

fasting and praying. Coming up to them at that very moment, she gave

thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward

to the redemption of Jerusalem."

----

Im sure over 30 yrs of never leaving her house of prayer she heard many scoff and tell her shes wasting her life by not remarrying....But the dedication, the faithfullness,the sacrifice is what God wants from us....He wants us to be found faithful.....and thats honorary that she didnt run around with men filling her hurting voids, didnt run to something that would numb her like alcohol and drugs but she wanted to fast and pray in her house of prayer and to be found faithful by the Lord.

Jennas 1st day of School

2011-08-31T13:32:00.000-07:00

Had to capture some pics of Jenna headed into her first day of school...Enjoy my lil cutie pie!

Creating a foundation...

2011-08-25T19:12:00.000-07:00

There is something that Ive been realizing a lot more lately...That in a blink of an eye, my kids will grow up so fast and be on thier own. i know there only 2 and 4 but Gods really been pressing on my heart what kind of Foundation am i laying for them?
Thier little eyes see everything and thier mommy(like most kids) are there role model, and someone they desire to model and be just like!

What am i teaching them? Am i just going through the everyday motions with a half smile on my face, praying that Jesus would return in the middle of the night so i wouldnt have to face waking up another day without Andy by my side? yes plenty of nights....But God is really at work in my heart to start laying a foundation for my kids to model after....If I want my kids to be strong, have great faith, Pray when things fall apart and be happy and love often, guess what folks...

I have to be that way....Ouch!
Some days very hard to do...ok most days....
But if we seek hard, God will give us everything we ask for if its according to his will.....And i truly desire to not just walk through the motions anymore, but for my kids to see a (imperfect) mommy who can admit when she fails but see that desire to want to keep on going, to want to love well and Truly see the blessings of God in our lil life...even if that means fighting....and fighting hard!

I want my children to say Mommy fought with all her might to give us the best possible life , not just give in when weakness hit....and we wanna be just like mommy!

Some days i feel so far from that person i long to be but with the help of my Lord, I can go from Glory to Glory/day by day to become the woman and mom he desires for me to be and be the example that my kids want...no DESERVE!

Some day my kids will be at an age where ive hoped and prayed that the things i have shown them and instilled in them will be enough for them to make the best choices in thier life...I will no longer be able to make those descisions for them any longer....scarry!

Andy left an amazing legacy....What kind of story are people reading when they look at our lives and how we handle hardship???

He Rose Again

2011-08-22T11:52:00.000-07:00

What a beautiful song and mix written and performed by my Uncle Kevin....such an amazing talent....enjoy and be blessed!!!

Broken

2011-08-17T19:28:00.000-07:00

my heart just aches today....my friends susannas little pipers lukeimia has came back...shes relapsed.....she just turned 2.....shes been in remission for quite a while and passed that scarry window of it possibly coming back...instead of celebrating, were mourning....such heart wrenching news...

Susanna's lil girl was battling lukeimia when andy was battling his cancer.....and just a month ago i saw them in GA and they looked great....life was becoming normal for them....

Please pray for the needham family...They have some huge descisions and battles once again....
http://www.needhamcrew.blogspot.com/

Jenna LovesYou Piper Jean...

IHOP Atlanta Intro Internship

2011-08-09T20:48:00.000-07:00

2 More Weeks...Prepare our hearts Lord!!!

Travis First Day Of Pre-k!!!

2011-08-09T06:53:00.000-07:00

Excited and ready!

Boo...I wanna go!!!

The serious Cool Kid Look

New Milestones and Comfy Nap Spots...

2011-07-31T20:16:00.000-07:00

Me and Travi went on a date to dinner and a movie tonight and have never done the movie thing but he was awesome! We saw kung fu panda with 2 other mommas and their babes and it was fun!

Heres another Milestone that my kids suprised me with!!!

Thats Right Turkey Sandwhiches!!!!

No more chicken nuggets at least for today...haha

My Beautiful Babes Asleep in the car

And in your top 5 comfy nap spots would this be in your list?????? HAHA

Happy Bday Jenny Part 2...

2011-07-23T20:49:00.000-07:00

Me and My Anna <3

My candy filled Rice krispie treat ice cream cones!!!

Go Jenny!

Pin the tail...yay!

I think i spun Eli too fast...sry bout that kiaster he faceplanted the wall...oops

Dora Stuff....<3

She insisted that dora needed cake so she was feeding her

THIS PIC IS CLASSIC...LOL

Lil Ra-Ra's...

2011-07-21T18:16:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Jenny...Part 1

2011-07-20T20:01:00.000-07:00

Happy 2nd Birthday Jenna Grace!!!

Part 2

2011-07-18T12:28:00.000-07:00

This free newsletter design customized with Smilebox

Hayes Family Newsletter...Part 1

2011-07-18T04:40:00.001-07:00

Free newsletter design made with Smilebox

poor ignored blog

2011-07-16T11:41:00.000-07:00

my poor blog i have been insanely busy and have ignored you......Im working on a email newsletter to send out to all our fans who have supported and loved on us this year...were settling into our new state and meeting new people and its been very welcoming...

Jenny is potty training and doing awesome...she sat publicly on a potty today at the gym and fell in...and yes it was after she peed...aww she was so upset... she had to strut her stuff out the door with just a diaper on though...She no longer wants to wear diapers which can go either way...While travi was at vbs i took her to chic fila and while she was up in the jungle junction she took off her dirty diaper and came down bare to the bone...and since superman was at school ...here i am trucking my wide load up that slide remembering i should do more zumba with each huff until i searched around and found it ...i slid down the slide with the prize in my hand completelly out of breath while jenn looks at me and says again!!!

Well im glad i could amuse her! Here is a pic of my big girl in her new dora panties!!!

Banana attacks gorilla, then splits

2011-07-08T12:44:00.000-07:00

Banana attacks gorilla, then splits

there are no words...what is this world coming too???

VBS

2011-07-06T12:37:00.000-07:00

Im very excited to have Travi go to VBS next week...
Heres a sneak peak...

Vacation Bible School will be July 11-15, 9:00am - 12:00pm, for ages 4 and up. This years theme is Shake It Up Cafe: Where Kids Carry Out God's Recipe! Children will become chefs-in-training. We will look at Bible festivals where food plays an important role while we learn "secret" ingredients like: Be Ready for God; Give Happily to God; Believe Fully in Jesus; Remember Jesus Often; and Celebrate God Forever. Join us for food, fun food games and crafts, all while learning God's Recipe!

Sibling Love or War?

2011-07-05T07:32:00.001-07:00

Which ever it was it was cute...haha

Our New Apt in Ga

2011-07-03T20:55:00.000-07:00

We were blessed by my friend Nakia and her church to move into a fully furnished apt stocked with food...What a blessing! Heres some pics of our first week...enjoy!

love this sign it says love is patient as i head to the kids room...lol

jennas frog potty where she sat and went on the potty tday!!!

my closet...love

sign at my front door

window painting!

kids mesmorized by the garfield movie and confused what a coffee table is?!?

a fully stocked pantry to welcome us

yep we drink from mason jars!

Happy Daddys Day Andy.....We Miss You!

2011-06-18T21:48:00.000-07:00

kisses to go up to heaven!

she didnt want to let the balloon go...

up to daddy!

Day out on the town with my kiddies!

2011-06-17T21:06:00.000-07:00

Playdate at Mom Judy's

2011-06-17T05:54:00.000-07:00

Our Atlanta Address

2011-06-14T16:41:00.001-07:00

Send us Lots O Love!!!

8006 Holland place
Lawrenceville,GA
30043

Travis Bday Pirate Ship Adventure

2011-06-05T01:01:00.000-07:00

The Royal Wedding

2011-06-04T23:15:00.000-07:00

Bride and groom <3

Auntie and Uncle Matt

my cousin greg and his beautiful fiancee diana

Shots from my beautiful cusin jenns wedding...

She had a photo booth there instead of doing favors, what a awesome idea...instead of having mints with the wedding date on that will sit in my drawer for a year you have pics of you and your friends/fam!

Happy 4th Birthday Pirate Travis!!!

2011-06-02T15:49:00.001-07:00

When God Has Another Plan - TaRanda Greene - The Greenes

2011-05-17T21:04:00.000-07:00

I Know Andy Looked down and Smiled At this one....Daddys Lil Golfer...:)

2011-05-07T19:24:00.000-07:00

Desert Song

2011-04-24T20:46:00.000-07:00

Easter.....

2011-04-24T20:36:00.000-07:00

So Travi was sick today...so Jenna was more photogenic than travi....i was bringing travis down to class today while paul was preaching and he hit a button on the elevator and it beeped so loud im sure the whole church heard...it took 4 ushers but we got the beeping to stop...lol

go travi....he knows how to keep us all on our toes.....
Church was awesome...God was puring out his spirit,healing hearts,there was salvation,awesome singing.....i was so filled leaving today!

Sometimes its so hard to understand why God saw it evident that He needed Andy more than we did....because we miss him more than anything...but Im so thankful for 2 beautiful kids and a family that gives us so much support....I loved watching travi and jenn waving to the sky telling daddy..."Happy Easter"

I just pray that everyday that God will keep sustaining us and keeping us in the palm in his hand,as he truly has each and every day... and im so thankful for that!

While i was feeling so heavy hearted i just felt Jesus sitting there with me bearing my burden,crying with me and i am so amazed at how much he loves me!

then the desert song came on the internet radio and i love the line...
"all of my life, in every season, you are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship..."

That no matter what were going through big or small Jesus paid it all...he is the reason we can sing ,be thankful and have joy in the midst of such pain.....

The bible says we have not because we ask not...Jesus i pray that you would pour out blessing and restore the Hayes Family....not just us but Andys family.....Heal their hearts,fill every painful void,love on them more than you have ever before!!!

We dont understand your reasons for taking Andy but we accept that you still have a plan for us, a purpose for our lives, a passion that you want to instill in us , that everywhere we would go we would exemplify you because we know for a fact and have seen in this family that our time is short and you have a specific calling in each one of our lives...Let us take charge of that calling

Thank you God that although we hurt so badly and feel that this pain will never end you have given us the promise that we are more than conquerors through you if we are obedient and let you see us through....

Laying down all rights and letting your spirit rule and reign in our hearts,helping us make the right descisions,and being forever changed because of the sacrifice you have made for us on that cross....

That still amazes me...That If i was the only one on this earth he would of went through it all...just for me!!!
Remember that the next time you feel alone......

Continue to pray for us and Andys family....
Have a wonderful Easter!!!

Kelly,Travi,Jenna <3

Easter Part 2

2011-04-24T20:07:00.000-07:00

Jenna and her best bud...Uncle Matt

Auntie..<3

Aunt Linz and Uncle Matt

Aunt Meg

After much wrestling i finally got my kiss....<3

Girlfriends...

Uncle Will and Travi

No Comment...lol

Easter Part 1

2011-04-24T19:06:00.000-07:00

Pretty Jenny

Candy for breakfast!

Travi and his batman

cheeeese

Travi was so happy to get his first pair of flip flops...haha

The easter Bunny Came!!!!

Travi's Got Talent!!!

2011-04-14T05:38:00.000-07:00

Last sunday Travis sunday school class was practicing to sing this upcoming sunday and his teacher said that travis did amazing he knew every motion and every part of the song and he just belted it out.....I was so proud of him.....

I took him to chuck e cheese for our date and they had a circle time with chucky singing songs and dancing and chuckys assistant personally gave travis extra tix after all the other kids were gone because they were so impressed with him.....then last night at service i went to go pick travi up and i walk in and all the kids and travis teachers were amazed by him....telling me how talented travis ' singing and dancing is...

They wouldnt let me leave until he sang me a solo in class...and in front of everyone belted out this song...he knew every tone,trill,and sang it like he knew it from birth...lol
everyone clapped...i was so proud of him.... i thought it must be the song theyve been practicing for palm sunday because he knew it so well and his teacher said no, thats why were so amazed....he just heard it for the first time!

Im so proud of him...we were blessed in the singing department...even Jenna in the car has memorized lines from my misty edwards cd........and she belts it out too...lol
It goes something like this

Wake-0 Wake-0 wind, Wake-o Wake-0 sa-wind,bow,0000h me!!!

its really awake awake oh north wind, awake awake oh south wind, blow over me
but she belts it out with a smile on her face.....

God has given this family a song! Ive always wanted singing partners and now i have 2...and they have beautiful voices...but there mine and i have to say that...:)

Me and Travis are actually practicing a song to sing in church one of these days soon.....ill be posting the date so everyone can come and hear him!

Popcorn Park Zoo...

2011-04-12T12:08:00.000-07:00

Welcome Lyla Sylvia

2011-03-28T20:55:00.000-07:00

Help Me Fight!!!

2011-03-25T17:50:00.000-07:00

I am participating in the American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life because my husband Andy and Father of my two beautiful children fought for 2 years was freed from cancer and is now in heaven.... I want to make a meaningful difference in the fight against cancer.

Almost everyone has been touched by cancer, either through their own personal battle or through someone they love.

Every day, the American Cancer Society is helping us stay well by preventing cancer or finding it at its earliest, most treatable stages. They assist families in finding the best resources to help their friend or loved one deal with a diagnosis and their journey to get well. The American Cancer Society is also rallying communities (like ours!) through events like Relay For Life, to fight back and find cures for this disease.

Please join my team or make a donation to help the American Cancer Society create a world with less cancer and more birthdays. Together, we can help make sure that cancer never steals another year of anyone’s life!

Team Andy

http://main.acsevents.org/goto/teamandy

2011 Relay For Life of Toms River, NJ

Saturday, May 21, 2011 12:00pm - Sunday, May 22, 2011 7:00am at Toms River High School North

57 days left until Relay! Teams: 39 Dollars Raised: $10,229.40 Participants: 146 Teams: 39

Treasures

2011-03-18T20:58:00.000-07:00

Andy might of gotten his treasures in heaven but i surely got my treasures on this earth!
I was praying today and needed some encouragement....I found my most prized possesion....Andys Bible....I think out of anything Andy ever has owned this is what id give anything to have!!!

As i opened it out poured years of notes,letters to God, and exerpts from his heart...I just sat there and cried as i held it all in my hands.....God knew exactly what i needed and when i get his papers together more i cant wait to share his faith and love he had for Jesus!

Happy St. Patricks Day!!!

2011-03-18T20:50:00.000-07:00

Hope Everyone enjoyed there cornbeef n cabbage...we know we did!!!!

Ins and Outs, Ups and Downs!

2011-03-17T07:31:00.000-07:00

Its been a wild month..!!!...
from Travis sporting pnemonia and ear infections,van being in the shop,cold cold cold weather with nothing to do,finding a place to live bc we our winter rental ends next month,car shopping bc the van is getting re-possesed bc we cant afford the payments anymore, having to walk away from our beautiful home in cincinnati and let it go in forclosure....worrying yet believeing God is going to provide!

As i had many nights of crying and praying how am i going to provide for my family,why,God,why...how,God,how?
Andys voice rang in my ear saying why worry? worry isnt going to change anything!
And its so simple and true... I say i believe God to take care of me, I believe God is going to supply all my needs...but then im not eating right and Im up all night crying over the bills!

I needed to chiggity check myself before i riggity wrecked myself! thank you ice cube...lol

But instead of waking up with anxiety, Im waking up declaring good things,blessings,and believeing God for who he truly is....His mercies are new every morning,Great is his Faithfulness!!!

God is a personal and intimate God. He not only loves us but he cares about the details!
to make a long story short. there are some things ive been praying about...Ive been struggling with finding anyone who could understand where i was coming from. I wanted to meet someone who went thru the hell ive been through to talk with,commune,share stories,pour into....and everyone ive met just couldnt understand. Even though theyve had great losses they were much older and there struggles were so very different than what ive experienced and still continue to experience.

As i was at an awesome womens conference this past weekend...There was a speaker who gave her testimony. She was in her 30's,lost her husband to diabetes over a yr ago,has a child shes raising,her house fell apart,she was in ministry with her husband, she was ridiculed on how she cared for her husband in his last days,she had ppl speak prophecys over him that God was going to heal him,and he died.,She was a big IHOP junkie..(ministry not pancakes..lol)
I started to cry as i looked down and glanced at my IHOP sweatshirt i was sporting...I sat there and listened to her preach Gods love and his word. And thought God doesnt want us to just survive,He wants us to thrive!

Yes she lost her best friend,spouse,mate of 14 yrs,and father for her child .....Which has devestaed her to the core,roughed up her life,walk and whole world was turned upside down...Her Faith remained even when she couldnt see the unknown,she hung onto God....and He pulled her through. He had a plan and a purpose and a calling for her life...just like he has for me and she was obedient to his voice,his spirit and his word and thats why she could get up there and preach and stand for him because God is faithful to restore our lives, to turn our mourning into Joy...

As soon as the service was done i sprinted to get to her for her to pray with me and impart some of that passion in stregnth in me....God is so good...and he knew exactly what i needed. He cares about the details and thats what amazes me!

I think God with everything going on in Japan, the terror and torment these ppl have to edure why do you care about the silly details I am praying for? But he does and he gives you those lil nuggets that are from him to hold onto...He cares For Us!

He wantes us to abide in the vine...He is the vine we are the branches... are we just chillin on the vine saying we trust when we are full of worry? or are we bearing fruit on the vine, being fruitful when no ones watching, pressing into hear his voice,being obedient to what he wants us to do...

If we stay close and connected to the vine,He will express the quality of his Love!!!

That has been my challenge this month to be obedient even when your like God how?
How can i tithe when i have no money to start with? Let me tell you I was obedient this month, and I have a house to move into, a car that ive been blessed with, and 2 beautiful kids to help me through my journey.

Not everything is peaches and cream but I know God has plans for me, Plans for a hope and a future...and i dont wanna just survive, I want to Thrive!!!

The More I Seek You ~ Gateway/Kari Jobe

2011-02-25T12:46:00.000-08:00

I want to know Jesus this way....so intimately!!!

breaking point!

2011-02-25T12:30:00.000-08:00

Its been almost 4 months since Andys passing...my life has been rocked!
i lost the glue that has held our family together. I not only had to figure out how to keep it together for me and my children but deal with Travi crying and missing his daddy so much and it has devestated my heart.
I had bills,papers,overdue balances sky high...no ss money coming in and borrowing money in hopes that ss would come through.....cry, toss and turn in bed, cry and so forth.
Being a single mom and dealing with this type of loss is so hard... countless times of running into the other room to tell andy what happened and he wasnt there....sorrow overwhelm me and then my kids start screaming for whatever reason! AHHHHHH!!!
When i find things couldnt get any worse I find out my house in cincy has a busted pipe and it hit all 3 levels and my homeowners insurance will not replace damages...floors and walls bubbling and what once was a beautiful happy home is a place where i now have to walk away from and pray that God would come through for me because my credit will be bad and my rental is up at the end of may!

I have questioned my faith,weeped,got angry at God for weeks not spend time with him, tell him this is what i want,run as fast as i could to stay in my own misery...
Until I felt I hit rock bottom....I scared myself with my hurtful attitude and hurt ppl i loved....My kids had to deal with a very angry person, a very lost person.....But Jesus was there all along just waiting for me to rest in him....I had my own agenda and told God....Im sure God laughed but I was so angry for taking such a perfect love and destroying it....a family that used to have every night together was now seperated...and i was devestated!

I really had to hit that ultimate low to realize that theres no other way out of this but up!
God placed amazing friend in my life that is very strong in the Lord to help me make a u-turn in my life, get me back on the right track....
I started a 3 month grieveing group at my church and along with that i got rid of outside distractions...tv,music that doesnt edify my spirit, facebook..I dont want to be numb anymore i wanna be raw before God so i can heal correctly..and am digilently doing my workbook everyday for my grieveing group,reading the bible and just laying there with worship on....even if i cant get motivated to move he sweetly sings over me with his prescence...

I know that this grief share is going to not take all the pain away but stop me from letting it have a hold on my life, who i am, and who God wants me to be...after its over i know ill still be grieveing andy but ill have more freedom!

I cant wait until my mourning turns to joy but until then i will press on and lean into these grieveing waves holding onto God...Hes all i got!

Vday 2011

2011-02-13T05:53:00.000-08:00

Its Been A While

2011-02-13T05:48:00.000-08:00

Its been a while since i posted...As you know Andy passed away early Nov. and we moved to Nj to be around family.

Its been 3 months and some days it seems harder than it was 3 months ago...This year will be so many ups and downs,ins and outs...

But I got the opportunity to take Travis Bowling yesterday and wanted to share some pics....Enjoy!!!

cutest bowling shoes ever...haha

UGH...Hospital

2010-10-24T18:47:00.000-07:00

Well Andy became really weak since weve been in wv. We had a morning of major confusion and he was incoherent so we headed to the hospital.
he was admitted over night and ended up being dehydrated and sugar was sky rocketing... so the good thing was that we were able to get control on those things. Andy is in no shape to travel back to nj so wv here we are...work your magic!
we'll be seeing a cancer doc next week and seeing what the next step is for andy.
all we know is that tumors have shrunk in spine but the brain has increased...and maybe why hes been acting like hes experiencing dimensia...were back at his moms now

This war is not over and were not giving up by any means but it is heart breaking and gut wrenching to see him this way.
Prayer warriors rise up....God is still on the throne

Happy 60TH B-day Aunt bev and Uncle Al

2010-10-17T04:53:00.000-07:00

Bye Bye Tumors!!!

2010-10-15T19:51:00.000-07:00

Ok so today is a go0o0o day for us!
Andy had 2 mris this week the full spine and the full brain...we dont have the brain reports yet but the 2 sections of the spine he got done was lumbar and thoractic....
Where there once were tumors on the lumbar are no more....not docs words but the report says there clean and no abnormality demonstrated! yessssss!!! Thank U Jesus!!!! Glory!!!

The throactic is much more difficult to understand at the end it says minimal disc changes.....the docs originally said that it would be a longshot for anything to decrease they just wanted to stop growth so andy could live for a few months....so i will take minimal on that part....!!!

Im so thankful for Gods healing touch on Andy....

My devotional this morning talked on miracles and the end note said
dont settle for the ordinary but expect the extraordinary!

SleepyTrav and Aunt Pinny!

2010-10-15T12:30:00.000-07:00

God is still in the blessing business!

2010-10-14T18:47:00.000-07:00

Well Today was a positive day!
When Andy first got his sugar tested at sloan a little over a week ago the doc was really concerned it was pretty high... And he had to increase the steroids for andys headaches which would raise it more so he wanted us to get a primary so he could start on insulin asap....

We couldnt get a appt until today and andy has been on the increased steroids...his sugar was 170 i believe and just needs to take a pill to bring it down some....

Our first breakthrough...Hallelujah!!!

Andys sloan doc wants andy to get mri's this week so he can have his own copy since he will be treating him....
so i will keep you updated on the results...

Andys spirits are great....We are in prayer alot together and when he enjoys when i read Gods word to him and is really being blessed by the book....suprised by healing....

He's looking forward to his parents coming in for the weekend so keep them in prayer as they travel.

Every Day is a gift from God

2010-10-12T15:28:00.000-07:00

Well we came to NJ to find physical healing for Andy. What we have gotten unexpectedly is Spiritual healing!
God has really been pruning us and rising us up to not only be fighters but spiritual soldiers...
After praying we felt that This isnt just a war of flesh and blood but a Spiritual one too... So we have been under Quarentine so to speak...

We have given up things for now that have any negetive influence on us at all. And Spending all our time in the word,speaking it over Andy and in Prayer together...We have never felt more encouraged and closer.We have a lot of people that think this is whats right whispering in our ears all over but we want to hear from God and be lead by only him . Because only HE knows whats best for us....

In doing that I have seen a major physical and spiritual change in Andy...Hallelujah!
When he first came to NJ he couldnt get out of bed to sit through a meal and yesterday we were at church with friends laughing,praying and having sweet fellowship until midnight...God is so faithful...Everyday he is restoring Andy more and more...

As many of you know we have been waititng for Gods leading on where the next step to live is and we were praying super hard because we want it to bo so God lead ...and a place where we can grow so spiritually strong together...A place of refuge...

Mom is moving out in days and as far as yesterday still no place to go...Yes, i admit i was getting discouraged because in just a week God has provided everything else we have needed and have transformed our prayerlife and walk.

As i was driving today i heard that snipet of a song..."hold fast, help is on the way!"

Then my phone rang and it was Robin with news that someone she knows had cancer and knows our story and our struggles and wants to get us a place to live.....not only that but talked to the mayor and a few higher up and want us to open an account so they could help pour in some finances.

We are so richly blessed....Im so Thankful for Gods healing touch on my husband and the wonderful doors he has opened....Theres alot of fundraisers that are going to be coming together so i will keep you posted on those when i find out more...

Keep us in your prayers that we will be so sensitive to what God wants in us and through us....That we wouldnt take a step in front or behind but that we would walk hand in hand with him...

God has placed 2 very special mentors in our lives here that have invested in us,taught and lead us in the right direction....Such kindred spirits that when were together we draw stregnth from one another...Thank You God for your many ,many blessings!!!

By His Stripes We Are Healed....Thank You Jesus!

Wives...1 peter 3:1-4

2010-10-10T14:25:00.000-07:00

Wives, be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the Word,they will be won over without words by the behavior of thier wives ,(2) when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

(3) Your beauty beauty should not come from outward adornment,such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. (4) Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in Gods sight.

Dont know why i was led to share just wanting to be obedient!

Our 1st Doc Appt in NJ

2010-10-08T03:55:00.000-07:00

Me,Mom, and especially Andy had a very long day yesterday. We were in Sloans Basking Ridge branch all morning. When we met out nurse we immediately felt a connection. She was very personable and informative. She gave us a lot of information to read up on and look into. We did not leave her empty handed.

Then Doc Gavrilivick came in and was very straight forward with us,He wanted us to know how andgry Andys cancer really is and what we need to prepare for.
They have decided that Temedor is the best drug option for now because of the brain penetration.
We asked some very scarry questions

Whats andys life expectancy?
Is there a cure?
Whats going to happen?

He was very honest with us and told us Andys Cancer is the worst...agrressive and angry... and when the cells grow and form tumors they cover the worst possible places they could.
They're hope is that this drug will stop growth and extend his life and if it shrinks ...THATS A BONUS!

but that worst case scenerio hell be gone in 2 months...best case with treatment and all
3-6 months to live...That this cancer was so rare and dosnt usually grow to the places that Andys has grown...so its all experimental at this point...but that the cancer is covering his spine and brain at this moment.

That was hard to swallow...Thank God My mom was with me....I cried like a baby in that office.
We knew the cancer was rare and it was a longshot but for a doc to stare at u in the face and say that...wheeew I couldnt contain myself.
I had to leave when andy was getting his tests so i could collect myself. I try to be as strong as i can for Andy but sometimes i cant control it.

The doc reccomended being here so they could start treating him and getting us as many resources for help as possible.

When me and Andy talked we both knew we needed to be here.
We both felt very comfortable and very well informed before we left that day.
we left with folders of all kind of information and teaching on the chemo pill hell be taking . We did not leave empty handed thats for sure.

We spent the day crying, holding each other,praying and crying.

I know that we made the right choice. And one reason I deleted my facebook was because this is a very crucial time for us and have been hit by negetivity on there from people that we thought were very close to us and didnt want to hear anyone tell us we made the wrong descision.

His cough isnt due to nemonia(i know i spelled it wrong)
its due to cancer progresion...results from Chest scan

Andys blood sugar is high and thats why he is so thirsty all the time and the steroids will make it higher so today I will be finding him a local family doc so that we can monitor it before it gets too bad.

Still believeing God for our miracle....We will never give up our Faith and our Hope!

I have so much more to say but there is a 1 yr old that wants to wake up and play.

Psalms 4:4-6
"Stand before the Lord in awe, and do not sin against him. Lie quietly on your bed in silent meditation.
Put your trust in the Lord,and offer him pleasing sacrifices. Many will say that God you wont help us.Prove them wrong by letting the light of your face shine down upon us.

Were in NJ

2010-10-06T16:38:00.001-07:00

So Andy flew out from cincinnati yesterday and I made the road trip with 2 toddlers and a fiesty cat...lol
13 hrs later here we are peppy as ever... 4 redbulls,a vault, and a coffee...hey at least im happy and not tired...lol

Our apt is tomorrow early early so I will keep updating as i get a chance....Right now Andys coughing alot and all around doesnt feel well. He doesnt have pretty much an appetite at all so were substituting with Ensure and he likes it ok....

Love and Prayers,
The Hayes'

sloan kettering in ny

2010-09-27T06:38:00.001-07:00

friends and family pray your little hearts out!

Just called sloan -got one of the docs to look at his records...there calling me back today...Andy has been in bad shape the past few days...in bed with a whooping cough...hes sopposed to start a drug today in cincy that has a 20% chance of working with side effects on top of everythin...g hes dealing with now...Pray the docs in NY have positive news!!!See More

Andy's Update

2010-08-05T06:26:00.000-07:00

The results of Andy's MRI from last Friday showed slight tumor progression along with a couple of new spots toward the front of the brain on the right side. He saw both the radiation oncologist and my medical oncologist. They agree that at this point neither surgery (would not be able to remove entire tumor) or radiation (disease is too wide spread throughout the brain and they don’t want to give radiation to my whole brain again because of the toxicity). The scans also showed a couple of small spots on my lungs and a spot on the back of my neck. They said that the spots were too small to be able to tell what they were so I may need additional testing to determine if these spots are cancerous or not.

They said that we have went through the typical treatment options for the type and location of my cancer. However, they also said that the specific cancer that Andy has is very rare in the location that he has it. There are two clinical trials that he may be eligible for that have looked very promising. One of these trials has not been tested on humans yet, just cells and animals. The other trial is a drug that has been developed from Taxol (a chemo drug that he was previously on). This drug is a modified chemical chemo drug that was developed to use after Taxol has failed.

They have indicated that they should be able to get me into one of these trials by the end of the month.

from the land of the waiting!

2010-08-01T11:56:00.001-07:00

so andy had his mri on fri. but we still dont have a doc appt until wed.

andy looked at it but i cant tell whats what. he doesnt think the chemo drug he was on minus the radiation did anything to shrink it...so onto the next strategy the docs might have.

Im so ready to have my happy family back...:(

All i can do is trust in God and believe there is a healing power in him!

this song has brought me much stregnth in the next post...hope its an encouragement to you too!

God Bless!

Josh Wilson - Before the Morning with Lyrics

2010-08-01T11:56:00.000-07:00

Just had to share some adorable pics from yesterdays family shoot...enjoy!

2010-08-01T11:50:00.000-07:00

Its Friday ...get me outta this house!

2010-07-30T05:55:00.000-07:00

So its def a day to get out of the house. Kinda been inside all week and need to break free!
After Jenna gets up from her nap me and the kiddos are headed to KI for some well deserved fun!

Its been a very emotional week here...and Andys MRI is today so were hopeful,a bit scared and nervous...Praying and hoping for the best! I just dont think i could handle any more negetive news....Im just exhausted....i need a good report!

He wont have a doc appt until wed. to go over the MRI but by this eve he'll be home and can view the cd and compare to the previous ones ...hes had enough to probably see the change in it.

So I will keep you all posted and it unfolds...

So Mommy went to her weight watchers meeting last night and lost 10.2 lbs in 3 weeks....yay...go me!
When i first started ww the lady said to me if we can have 1 thing that we can control in order like our weight...that we can do something about than the things that are out of our control wont seem so out of control and that really has stuck with me...why emotionally eat and have my body suffer thise consequences....
what a painful circle....eat cuz were sad, then look in the mirror and be sad and dsicouraged.
No Thank You....Im ready for a change!

I'll end with an argument me and Travi were having this morning...hes a trip!
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Mommy: Travi I told you not to touch that,If you dont listen you'll have to go to your room.

Travi: But mommy Why?

Mommy: Because your not listening, and you know your not sopposed to open and close the door.

Travi: Why?

Mommy: Because im the mom thats why.

Travi: Well Im the Travi!

Happy 1st Birthday Jenna Grace

2010-07-24T20:52:00.000-07:00

updates and all

2010-07-13T21:01:00.000-07:00

sorry for the lack of posts...ive been working hard on getting my business up and running....Lots of new faces and im excited about it!
And a brand spankin new family webpage is in the works with a lot more room for updates,pics...etc

but for now Andy got a pet scan yesterday to see if theres cancer anywhere else...he gets the results tomorrow from it. so i will keep you posted on that.The Docs also took him off of the Chemo drug until the MRI so maybe his rash and sores can heal.

Im not sure of the date but late this month he is getting another MRI so keep a 100% recovery in your prayers.
We are all (ESPEACIALLY ANDY) just worn out and want this to be over more than anything else in this world....
To be able to wake up and know its all going to be ok is the desire of my heart. its so hard not to know an outcome.
I guess where that Trusting comes in but still very hard to do at times...
Also please keep our son Travis in your prayers.

Hes having some major outbursts and fits of rage that i dont think it normal....every 3 yr old has meltdowns,tantrums...etc

but tonight i gave him hugs after i sang him songs....and he wanted one more and i shut the door...id be there all night if he played the one more game over and over...

and as most nights he wigged kicked,screamed,banged at the door....but then he took his lamp and ripped it from the outlet and was smashing it against the door. took his dresser apart in a rage...when we opened the door to see what was going on...he flew out and threw himself down the stairs because he was mad he didnt get one more hug...it wasnt accidental he did a swan dive and hit midway down. i was just so upset watching this. he didnt even flinch when he reached the bottom he was running and screaming because he knew andy was headed after him....it was bad!

most nights we have to hold his door while he screams and bangs until he falls asleep...
or hell play us all night and demand his way.....he told me the other day that Travi calls the shots...lol

We've been sticking to the 1 2 3 magic for christian parents and it has worked really well.. better than anything and weve tried it all!

but the bedtime i am just lost....
Is this normal?
suggestions please
PS: the spanking thing does not work...it doesnt even faze him

Happy 4th Of July!

2010-07-04T20:58:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th of July!

We had a great time at our party at church!

It was hot but very fun...Travi got his face painted as a puppy,Jenna ate hotdogs,The Kings Brass played,and Travi got to be with all his friends on the slides...

Hope you all have had a wonderful Independence Day!!!

Our Disney vacationpart 1

2010-06-30T18:56:00.000-07:00

we had a MAGICAL time in disney wanted to give u a sneak peak of some pics...hope you enjoy!

lots more coming soon!!!

Freaky Hot Friday!

2010-06-18T10:56:00.000-07:00

So i dont know what happened to springtime...its 90 everyday... and i miss that seabreze from the coast...once in a blue moon we'll get a slight breze....ugh

We ventured out to the mall today and played a bit in the play area. Jenna knows where the exuit is and flys towards it everytime.

My little darlings both woke up at 6am this morning...i was so not feeling it!

Travis is getting so excited for Disney! he says 1 more week and im gonna see Mickey Mouse...Yay!!!

Lots to be excited about. Its been a while since we got away as a family. and it will be good to be excited for something together!

Have a great weekend...stay cool!!!

9 more dayzZzzZzZZz....

2010-06-18T04:46:00.000-07:00

9 more days until we fly to disney...were all getting so pumped!
I booked our Character dinner last night for when we get there with goofy,pluto,rafiki,and timon!!!
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BEWARE...Extreme fire in this post...guard your eyes!!!

2010-06-14T20:14:00.000-07:00

Action Packed Weekend!

2010-06-11T19:11:00.000-07:00

Well Its been quite a busy weekend already. Yesterday me and the kiddies went back to the spray park and it was packed. Travis was there one minute gone the next. I couldnt find him anywhere. my heart skipped several beats!!! What a horrible feeling for a parent to have to go through. I was calling his name( more like screaming) and panicking when he wasnt responding to me.

so after running around like crazy looking for him, i see him sitting at a picnic table at a b-day party...eating and laughing with the kids...like he was part of the group....uggggh!

He was having a great time as i was losing my mind. He wasnt happy when i took him away....he was yelling birthday party...lol

today we headed to Kings Island and spent the whole evening there. We started in the waterpark and took the train over to the dry part later.
Travi cruised on water slides as jenna just enjoyed splashing around in the water and eating her choc chip cookies.
We ate pizza and ice cream...it was a good night...:)

Both kiddies are snoozing in there beds and were headed to indiana in the morning to visit mimi and poppi Karl...

I got Jennas outfit for her 1st b-day shoot...so exciting , I cant wait to show her off more!

Nite Nite friends

Its a Thomas Party...

2010-06-07T20:16:00.000-07:00

Travi's MAGICAL Birthday Suprise!!!

2010-06-07T18:16:00.000-07:00