I'm Melting, I'm Melting...........

Alot of people have been wondering how the internship is going, how im doing...I have been very anti-social this past month and its for a reason. ..Alot of people(who mean very well) have thier opinions,advice for me...etc and i need to close myself away for these next few months because right now Gods opinion is the only one that is important to me right now, and i dont want anything distracting me from hearing clearly from him....

So i enjoy being able to blog out my feelings and saturate in your prayers! Thank You for Understanding...

There is only one way as i explained to mom how this internship is affecting my life...coming into this lets say i had my share of issues...to put it lightly...I had the love of my life ripped away from me and my babies and I was hurt,mad,angry,fearful...I felt like half of me died...Which all of these things people will say are valid and understandable...When you meet the one God has for you and unites a man and woman, the two shall become one...so literally half of me was kapuuut, Gone!!!

My heart was shredded into a million pieces,my soul ached. And no one could fix this(as much as momma Jacobs wanted too..Love u mom) But time and God!

As i entered the internship with such turmoil in my heart,anxiety...etc I knew not only God had a lot of work to do ...but so did I... you get what you put into it...so it took alot of  asking God to break down major walls and surrendering my insecurities to him...God doesnt just give u a silver platter of a heart thats free...here you go kelly,heres your prize!(((Darnitt))

If he did that we would only need him when things go wrong and tell him to hit the road when things go right, I can take it from here Lord...Peace-dude!

He desires that relationship with us to be our Lord and Savior not just our Savior all he time...AHHH ok now i get it God...

So really there is only one way to put the transition  hes doing right now....Hes melting the wicked witch inside of me...the anger,the hurt, the anxiety,the fear...Hes bringing it all to the surface right now...although not fun to face but its vital to face it so God can truly heal me, restore me, make me a better, loving,nurturing momma....

My goal is that this wicked witch will cease to exist...Melt her Lord, Attitude and ALL!!!
I want a heart that is Free,and you desire that out of me as well...So lets get to work,God!!!