Ins and Outs, Ups and Downs!

Its been a wild month..!!!...
from Travis sporting pnemonia and ear infections,van being in the shop,cold cold cold weather with nothing to do,finding a place to live bc we  our winter rental ends next month,car shopping bc the van is getting re-possesed bc we cant afford the payments anymore, having to walk away from our beautiful home in cincinnati and  let it go in forclosure....worrying yet believeing God is going to provide!


As i had many nights of crying and praying how am i going to provide for my family,why,God,why...how,God,how?
Andys voice rang in my ear saying why worry? worry isnt going to change anything!
And its so simple and true... I say i believe God to take care of me, I believe God is going to supply all my needs...but then im not eating right and Im up all night crying over the bills!

I needed to chiggity check myself before i riggity wrecked myself! thank you ice cube...lol

But instead of waking up with anxiety, Im waking up declaring good things,blessings,and believeing God for who he truly is....His mercies are new every morning,Great is his Faithfulness!!!

God is a personal and intimate God. He not only loves us but he cares about the details!
to make a long story short. there are some things ive been praying about...Ive been struggling with finding anyone who could understand where i was coming from. I wanted to meet someone who went thru the hell ive been through to talk with,commune,share stories,pour into....and everyone ive met just couldnt understand. Even though theyve had great losses they were much older and there struggles were so very different than what ive experienced and still continue to experience.

As i was at an awesome womens conference this past weekend...There was a speaker who gave her testimony. She was in her 30's,lost her husband to diabetes over a yr ago,has a child shes raising,her house fell apart,she was in ministry with her husband, she was ridiculed on how she cared for her husband in his last days,she had ppl speak prophecys over him that God was going to heal him,and he died.,She was a big IHOP junkie..(ministry not pancakes..lol)
 I started to cry as i looked down and glanced at my IHOP sweatshirt i was sporting...I sat there and listened to her preach Gods love and his word. And thought God doesnt want us to just survive,He wants us to thrive!

Yes she lost her best friend,spouse,mate of 14 yrs,and father for her child .....Which has devestaed her to the core,roughed up her life,walk and whole world was turned upside down...Her Faith remained even when she couldnt see the unknown,she hung onto God....and He pulled her through. He had a plan and a purpose and a calling for her life...just like he has for me  and she was obedient to his voice,his spirit and his word and thats why she could get up there and preach and stand for him because God is faithful to restore our lives, to turn our mourning into Joy...

As soon as the service was done i sprinted to get to her for her to pray with me and impart some of that passion in stregnth in me....God is so good...and he knew exactly what i needed. He cares about the details and thats what amazes me!

I think God with everything going on in Japan, the terror and torment these ppl have to edure why do you care about the silly details I am praying for? But he does and he gives you those lil nuggets that are from him to hold onto...He cares For Us!

He wantes us to abide in the vine...He is the vine we are the branches... are we just chillin on the vine saying we trust when we are full of worry? or are we bearing fruit on the vine, being fruitful when no ones watching, pressing into hear his voice,being obedient to what he wants us to do...

If we stay close and connected to the vine,He will express the quality of his Love!!!

That has been my challenge this month to be obedient even when your like God how?
How can i tithe when i have no money to start with?  Let me tell you I was obedient this month, and I have a house to move into, a car that ive been blessed with, and 2 beautiful kids to help me through my journey.

Not everything is peaches and cream but I know God has plans for me, Plans for a hope and a future...and i dont wanna just survive, I want to Thrive!!!