Oh My Achin Knees....

So Andys appointment wasnt as encouraging as we would have hoped...Pretty much in a nutshell the VA docs agree with the Cinci docs on how they have been treating andy.

The gamma knife sugery isnt an option based on the size of the tumors and where they are located.

They agree that Andys on the right drug and combined with the right radiaition is definately the route to go...I was pretty discouraged because andy had so much pain in his knees he could hardly walk last night and took 10 baths to relieve the pain combined with icy hot and that only took the edge of a little bit.

His headaches have been getting worse too.
I just wish there was a quick fix to all of this mess.
I think my worst fear is going back to ohio alone with 2 needy kiddos(beautiful but needy...lol)
and a hubby that i cant care for the way he needs because im only one person...ugh

Why does life have to be this hard? why do we have to be so isolated with no support system for all of this to happen.
I know i really need to count my blessings because i have so many but its been a very discouraging day.
I woke up this morning as i stared at the blue ridge mountains it was so beautiful and i felt God so warmly....and nothing at that moment could ever compare or take that moment away from me....I know there is another side....a better side to all of this...
where we will be complaining because we ran out of milk and were to lazy to run 3 miles to walmart to get more.....Im waiting and hoping we can get there soon...

But i know its natural to question God and wonder why? .....as 3 drunk guys stumble into the hotel and are being obnoxious talking about taking advantage of girls and a recent fight....
I think why my hubby? whos been dedicated to God his whole life and never had a sip of alcohol or a drug and says God hasnt healed him yet because then the miracle wouldnt be big enough?

I just dont understand sometimes, but maybe im not sopposed too